Name: Brenda Braxton

Menopause phase: Other 

Place you call home: New York City

What you’re creating: Business and Community

Age: 69

1. Rituals can be deeply personal. What is one personal practice you’ve adopted to embrace the transitions of menopause?

What I really try to embrace is an evening ritual. Shower, scented oil all over my body, short white night gown (or nude) Lavender Linen Spray and clean white sheets.

There’s something about the white that’s calming. Why I say I try to embrace this ritual is because as a theatre person I’m a natural “night owl”. I often don’t go to sleep until the wee hours of the night. Sometimes early morning. I’ve learned to listen to my body.

2. Have you redefined beauty in this stage? If so, how? Do any of your rituals support this definition?

I redefine beauty by showing up without makeup! I’m use to ALWAYS having a beat on. Again because of my theater career. But since I’ve gotten older I feel a clean well moisturized face and body is healthy and sexy.

Also, my body is changing and not as toned as when I was doing 8 shows a week on Broadway. So I decided to adorn my waist with a beautiful gold chain and keep it moving!

3. Is there a particular practice—whether it’s movement, meditation, or something else—that has become essential to your well-being in this current stage of your life?

I try to stay stretched. I would LOVE to get a routine going but I haven’t found one that keeps me focused and wanting to do on a regular basis.

4. What role does your community or your sista circle play in your menopausal and aging experience, and do you share any rituals with other women that support this journey?

OMG!! My tribe is AMAZING!! We have made a conscious effort to experience menopause from the joyous perspective instead of all the “oh my god my life and womanhood is on the decline.”

We feel once you figure out what your personal journey and symptoms are you can address them and make it as comfortable as possible.

Every woman’s journey is different. We support each other in our decision to be / stay joyful. It takes work but so worth it.

5. What does the concept of sacredness mean to you as you age, and do you honor this stage of life through any special rituals?

I think the meaning of sacred has taken on an interesting meaning for me as I age and experience menopause. There are many things sacred to me now that I don’t think were in the past. My home space is sacred. I’ve learned boundries. My body is sacred. I only have one so I better take of it.

My spirit is sacred. I’m the only one responsible for keeping my spirits up and my happiness and joy on point. That’s not to say I don’t have rough days. It just means I know how to allow myself to feel it and move through it quicker.

My love is sacred. Not everyone is entitled to it and I don’t feel bad or apologetic for it. My dreams are sacred because you just can’t share them with everyone.

6. Looking back on your pre-menopausal years, is there anything you wish you had known or done differently to prepare for this transition? How does this wisdom shape your rituals now?

When I think of some of my friends who have had issues with menopause I feel very blessed that my symptoms were minimal. I can’t think of anything I would have done differently. I think I have had challenges with the aging process itself. The changes in my body, skin, stamina and mental health have been my issue.

The feeling of where did the time go? Also, being the sole caregiver for my 89 year old mother puts the aging process front and center even more. So again, staying in joy as much as possible is extremely important to me. Aa

7. How do you define well-aging, and what does it look like for you?

For me well aging is staying healthy, surrounding yourself with wonderful people. And not looking at the NUMBER. Most of us, especially women of color, don’t look our age anyway so let’s go with that.

In my life well aging looks like making my PAUSE by BBRAXTON brand as successful as possible. Making the PAUSE Lounge a place to relax in sisterhood and PAUSE TV the thing to watch!!

8. Everyday Rituals: Share one ritual for each of the following, that you’ve not shared above

Daily Ritual: I don’t rush into my day. I have an alter with my relatives and friends photos who have transitioned and I give them a moment every morning and evening. It grounds me.

Weekly Ritual: I allow myself to have pizza and Haagen Dazs but not on the same night.

Monthly Ritual: I don’t have a monthly practice because I never want to wait too long for happiness or anything “special”. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

Yearly Ritual: Again I don’t wait for ANYTHING!

Connect With Brenda: Instagram – pausebybbraxton_ | Facebook: Pausebybbraxton | Website: https://pausebybbraxton.com